Jodi and Jennifer now know how the turtle beat the hare, they were racing in a warehouse

Jodi (2:14 PM): fyi
Jodi (2:15 PM): don't ever put a turtle down
Jodi (2:15 PM): in a warehouse

Jennifer (2:15 PM): um, ok

Jodi (2:16 PM): they are really quick

Jennifer (2:18 PM): it's a turtle
Jennifer (2:18 PM): they are not known for their quickness

Jodi (2:18 PM): it ran really fast under a shelf
Jodi (2:18 PM): and then another
Jodi (2:18 PM): and another

Jennifer (2:18 PM): lol

Jodi (2:18 PM): they can be fast if they are scared I guess
Jodi (2:18 PM): turtlegate
Jodi (2:18 PM): 2010

Jennifer (2:19 PM): here's a question, why did you have a turtle in the warehouse

Jodi (2:20 PM): well we didn't invite him in
Jodi (2:20 PM): he came to visit I guess

Jennifer (2:21 PM): ok, just wondering, you said to not put a turtle down in a warehouse
Jennifer (2:21 PM): so I thought that you brought him in

Jodi (2:21 PM): oh yeah
Jodi (2:21 PM): he crawled up
Jodi (2:21 PM): and we were gonna put him in the water
Jodi (2:21 PM): behind us
Jodi (2:21 PM): so he didn't run into the lot
Jodi (2:21 PM): and get squished
Jodi (2:21 PM): but I wanted to see if he was hungry for my spinach
Jodi (2:21 PM): so on the way out the back
Jodi (2:21 PM): we set him down with said spinach
Jodi (2:21 PM): and he run like a motherfucker
Jodi (2:22 PM): we weren't expecting him to be fast
Jodi (2:22 PM): so we all were like damn
Jodi (2:22 PM): go turtle
Jodi (2:22 PM): til we realized he was under shit we couldn't move easily

Jennifer (2:22 PM): so did you get him out?

Jodi (2:22 PM): yes
Jodi (2:22 PM): and we put him in the creek
Jodi (2:22 PM): or big ditch
Jodi (2:22 PM): behind us

Jennifer (2:22 PM): y'all just cut several years off his life
Jennifer (2:22 PM): that's probably where he came from and now he's thinking, "damn"

Jodi (2:22 PM): well he was headed through the building to the lot
Jodi (2:22 PM): to the busy street
Jodi (2:22 PM): I mean BUSY
Jodi (2:23 PM): might as well make a sauce piquante now

Jennifer (2:23 PM): lol
Jennifer (2:23 PM): I'm surprised no one wanted him for that very reason

Jodi (2:24 PM): I was trying to save his turtle life
Jodi (2:25 PM): I thought he would surely be squished
Jodi (2:25 PM): in our busy parking lot

Jennifer (2:29 PM): that is truly hilarious

Jodi and Jennifer on justification... and cupcakes.

Jodi (9:03 AM): I can't overeat this weekend
Jodi (9:03 AM): or I don't have a chance in the contest
Jodi (9:03 AM): so I am going to try to FILL up my entire weekend with shit


Jodi (10:04 AM): the cupcakes are here {that Jodi ordered for Kevin and her dad for Father's day from Crumbs in NYC}
Jodi (10:05 AM): I hope they aren't all fucked up


Jodi (10:07 AM): they are PERFECT

Jennifer (10:08 AM): awesome


Jodi (10:17 AM): God wants me to eat a cupcake

Jennifer (10:17 AM): God doesn't have anything to do with that

Jodi (10:17 AM): yes he does
Jodi (10:17 AM): cuz when I opened the box
Jodi (10:17 AM): they had gotten part of the order wrong
Jodi (10:18 AM): and they are shipping it out again FREE Monday
Jodi (10:18 AM): so its like a whole 6 pack FREE

Jennifer (10:19 AM): that isn't God, that is the devil tempting you with pretty, tasty cupcakes

Jodi (10:19 AM): oh shut up


Jodi (10:30 AM): there is just no way I'm not gonna eat a cupcake

Jennifer (10:31 AM): you are being weak
Jennifer (10:31 AM): you are stronger than that

Jodi (10:31 AM): nah
Jodi (10:31 AM): I'm gonna eat half of one
Jodi (10:31 AM): for 300 calories

Jennifer (10:32 AM): did you get them for your dad and Kevin
Jennifer (10:32 AM): isn't that like eating their gift

Jodi (10:32 AM): but I got an extra 6 pack FREE

Jennifer (10:32 AM): but they aren't here yet
Jennifer (10:32 AM): so you can't eat them until you give one away

Jodi (10:32 AM): yes they are
Jodi (10:33 AM): I had gotten a 12 taste pack of tiny ones
Jodi (10:33 AM): and they sent the wrong ones
Jodi (10:33 AM): and those were for the kids
Jodi (10:33 AM): so I'm gonna give the kids the ones I get on TUESDAY

Jennifer (10:33 AM): well, it sucks to be the kids
Jennifer (10:33 AM): you get a cupcake but they have to wait

Jodi (10:33 AM): they won't like the ones they sent
Jodi (10:33 AM): kids don't like all that crap on them
Jodi (10:33 AM): I got them the kid ones

Jennifer (10:34 AM): uh-huh
Jennifer (10:34 AM): justification

Jodi (10:34 AM): pretty much

Jennifer (10:34 AM): I don't want you bitching when you lose {the competition}

Jodi (10:34 AM): I won't win anyways
Jodi (10:34 AM): I am not eating Bison for 30 days
Jodi (10:34 AM): fuck that shit

Jennifer (10:35 AM): NO one is eating bison for 30 days

Jodi (10:35 AM): the diet they gave us
Jodi (10:35 AM): is ridiculous
Jodi (10:35 AM): and I gotta tell you 550 calories
Jodi (10:35 AM): for one of these cupcakes
Jodi (10:35 AM): is totally fucking wroth it

Jennifer (10:36 AM): you say that now

Jodi (10:36 AM): I'm not gonna eat lunch today
Jodi (10:36 AM): just skip right through it
Jodi (10:36 AM): and for dinner I will eat a turkey pepperoni pizza
Jodi (10:36 AM): and then I will have plenty of calories for one
Jodi (10:36 AM): so far today I have only had like 239
Jodi (10:36 AM): I get 1500

Jennifer (10:37 AM): if you really think eating one is worth that
Jennifer (10:37 AM): it is your 1500 calories

Jodi (10:38 AM): if you had ever had one of these
Jodi (10:38 AM): you would totally be down with it
Jodi (10:38 AM): I wish I could mail you one of them
Jodi (10:38 AM): its the best thing I have ever tasted

Jennifer (10:38 AM): Oh, I would totally eat one
Jennifer (10:38 AM): but then I wouldn't have the guilt afterwards
Jennifer (10:38 AM): or the "I can't believe I did that what's wrong with me"
Jennifer (10:39 AM): I would just eat the box and be done with it and move on
Jennifer (10:39 AM): but you won't do that

Jodi (10:39 AM): LOL
Jodi (10:39 AM): you are so right

Jennifer (10:39 AM): and you'll moan all next week about eating it

Jodi (10:39 AM): you just said you would eat the BOX
Jodi (10:39 AM): of cupcakes
Jodi (10:39 AM): that really made me laugh out loud
Jodi (10:39 AM): I spit water

Jennifer (10:39 AM): I would

Jodi (10:39 AM): You would not eat an entire box of cupcakes

Jennifer (10:39 AM): I wouldn't tell anyone I got a free box
Jennifer (10:39 AM): and I would eat them

Jodi (10:39 AM): are you saying you would hide them and eat them in secret

Jennifer (10:39 AM): you bet your ass

Jodi (10:39 AM): did you see the pic on Facebook?

Jennifer (10:40 AM): no


Jodi (10:40 AM): that's the free box

Jennifer (10:41 AM): yep, the whole box

Jodi (10:40 AM): this why I heart you

Jennifer (10:41 AM): and no one would ever know

Jodi (10:41 AM): YOU WOULD GET SICK
Jodi (10:41 AM): THESE ARE HUGE

Jennifer (10:42 AM): probably
Jennifer (10:42 AM): I would spread it out over a couple of days

Jodi (10:42 AM): it takes 3 hours to defrost them
Jodi (10:42 AM): I have a feeling I am gonna be sucking on a frozen cupcake
Jodi (10:42 AM): at some point today

Jennifer (10:42 AM): like a popsicle

Jodi (10:42 AM): yep

Jennifer (10:42 AM): mmmmm....

Jodi (10:42 AM): they are filled too
Jodi (10:42 AM): with good stuff like peanut butter cream cheese

Jennifer (10:42 AM): I'm not crazy about the filled ones

Jodi (10:42 AM): I'm telling you
Jodi (10:42 AM): this is amazing

Jennifer (10:42 AM): like the bakery across the street has those
Jennifer (10:43 AM): too sweet

Jodi (10:43 AM): I would so go get one

Jennifer (10:43 AM): I would rather have the cake

Jodi (10:43 AM): I am normally not a cupcake or cake person
Jodi (10:43 AM): I like cookies
Jodi (10:43 AM): Kevin isn't at all
Jodi (10:43 AM): he always hates frosting
Jodi (10:43 AM): but when we had one of these in new york
Jodi (10:43 AM): he was like OMG
Jodi (10:43 AM): this is so good


Jodi (10:49 AM): Taylor is gonna bitch for a cupcake

Jennifer (10:49 AM): of course she is
Jennifer (10:49 AM): did you really think you could keep them from her
Jennifer (10:49 AM): that's why you HIDE them

Jodi (10:49 AM): I'm gonna give her the red velvet
Jodi (10:49 AM): cuz I don't like those


Jodi (11:22 AM): I am getting lipo
Jodi (11:22 AM): I'm sick of this shit

Jennifer (11:23 AM): oh lord

Jodi (11:23 AM): I can get my thighs whittled down

Jennifer (11:23 AM): you know I'm rolling my eyes

Jodi (11:23 AM): I know you are
Jodi (11:23 AM): but its my thighs I hate
Jodi (11:23 AM): and every lb I lose
Jodi (11:23 AM): comes off my neck or something
Jodi (11:23 AM): cuz it ain't coming off my thighs

Jennifer (11:24 AM): I thought they already did that


Jennifer (12:26 PM): I'm back {from lunch}
Jennifer (12:26 PM): did you eat a cupcake yet?

Jodi (12:27 PM): THEY ARE FROZEN
Jodi (12:27 PM): remember

Jennifer (12:29 PM): ah

Jodi (12:29 PM): yeah
Jodi (12:29 PM): but I could like lick one
Jodi (12:29 PM): and my tongue might melt the icing

Jennifer (12:29 PM): that's true
Jennifer (12:29 PM): or you could put in the microwave for like 15 seconds

Jodi (12:30 PM): you're not supposed too
Jodi (12:30 PM): it might ruin it

Jennifer (12:32 PM): well that sucks
Jennifer (12:32 PM): why don't you send me one with a runner. it will be thawed when they get here

Jodi (12:32 PM): LOL
Jodi (12:36 PM): Dear lord sweet baby Jesus
Jodi (12:36 PM): let me get through this weekend
Jodi (12:36 PM): without gaining weight

Jennifer (12:39 PM): lol
Jennifer (12:40 PM): then I think you better be praying to the sweet Lord baby Jesus for the willpower to not eat those cupcakes
Jennifer (12:40 PM): like start giving them away right now


Jodi (4:17 PM): you there
Jodi (4:17 PM): I already defrosted us all 3 a cupcake
Jodi (4:17 PM): I can't do it

Jennifer (4:18 PM): I knew it

Jodi (4:18 PM): Taylor and I haven't eaten one
Jodi (4:18 PM): YET
Jodi (4:18 PM): but here is my plan

Jennifer (4:18 PM): maybe you can share one with her
Jennifer (4:18 PM): because you know she can't finish it

Jodi (4:18 PM): I'm going to get on the elliptical
Jodi (4:18 PM): for like 2 hours
Jodi (4:18 PM): and then eat it
Jodi (4:19 PM): like I'm gonna elliptical my freakin' brains out

Jennifer (4:19 PM): just put on the body bugg and work until you burn the 500 calories
Jennifer (4:19 PM): what's that, like 30 minutes

Jodi (4:19 PM): um
Jodi (4:19 PM): surely you jest
Jodi (4:19 PM): more like 45

Jennifer (4:19 PM): I don't know
Jennifer (4:19 PM): I don't have a clue about that shit

Jodi (4:19 PM): but that's not gonna be enough for me
Jodi (4:19 PM): I have to do like 2 hours
Jodi (4:19 PM): cuz I ate 3 chicken fries
Jodi (4:19 PM): I was freakin' starving
Jodi (4:19 PM): I didn't eat lunch

Jennifer (4:20 PM): see, i knew that was going to happen

Jodi (4:20 PM): yep

Jennifer (4:20 PM): you should have eaten like half a sandwich or something

Jodi (4:20 PM): you are right
Jodi (4:20 PM): you are also right
Jodi (4:21 PM): that I can't just eat a cupcake
Jodi (4:21 PM): and feel not bad about it
Jodi (4:21 PM): I think I have an eating disorder now
Jodi (4:21 PM): like officially

Jennifer (4:23 PM): I don't know about that
Jennifer (4:23 PM): I just know you
Jennifer (4:23 PM): if you are going to do it, then own it
Jennifer (4:23 PM): but if you are going to feel all shitty about it then don't do it

Jodi (4:23 PM): I haven't decided yet
Jodi (4:23 PM): well that's a lie
Jodi (4:23 PM): I'm totally gonna eat a cupcake

And she totally did. And she totally bitched and moaned about it all Monday morning.

Jodi and Jennifer promise that they don't need anger management

Jennifer: it is so good we have each other

Jodi: yeah or we would probably both be on drugs now

Jennifer: probably
Jennifer: or have hurt someone seriously

Jodi: oh yeah
Jodi: Kevin would be a dead man

Jennifer: David thought I was going to run over people at the grocery store the other day
Jennifer: they weren't even doing anything to me
Jennifer: I don't know what his problem was

Jodi: well were you driving fast?

Jennifer: hell no
Jennifer: I was just checking my phone
Jennifer: it wasn't like it was a big deal or something
Jennifer: I saw the people standing there

Jodi: Kevin flips out if I put on lip gloss

Jennifer: like they would have had to step out in front of me for me to hit them
Jennifer: and if they are stupid enough to do that
Jennifer:: then I totally don't have a problem with ramming their ass

Jodi and Jennifer on bison

Jodi signed up for a a competition at her gym, and they provided her with a new diet plan.






Oops, we made a cut and paste mistake.


Jennifer: Aren't you glad that all of your friends know where you can buy bison.

Jodi: it wasn't really a question
Jodi: it was being funny
Jodi: it was a rhetorical question

Jennifer: I know
Jennifer: and not one of them commented on our emu conversation
Jennifer: I think they think we're nuts

Jodi: I don't fuckin' care
Jodi: I can go on and on on facebook
Jodi: and I don't care who likes it

Jennifer: I know
Jennifer: I think we are totally fucking hilarious

Jodi: we are

There are only two people in our lives that get us. Each other and our husbands. The good thing is that we're ok with that.

ETA: Linking up with Mama Kat.

Jodi and Jennifer, we don't claim to always be at the top of our game

Jodi: you know [that exercise] when you squat
Jodi: and then stand up?

Jennifer: squats?

Jodi: YES
Jodi: oh god that was dumb
Jodi: even for me

Jennifer: that was funny

Jodi: it was funny
Jodi: how could I not remember what a squat was called?

Jodi and Jennifer have an opinion... go figure

Jodi: good morning sunshine

Jennifer: mornin'
Jennifer: go read this and let's discuss

Jodi: I am speechless
Jodi: where is the part about giving him a fantastic blow job everyday after work
Jodi: I think that's really the only thing missing
Jodi: If I asked Kevin what his vision was
Jodi: he would say 20/20
Jodi: and then look at me like i was nuts
Jodi: like seriously
Jodi: what brand of crack are these women on?

Jennifer: I don't know

Jodi: do they sell STUPIDWOMAN crack at Walgreens now?
Jodi: is it like a brand?

Jennifer: silly me, I thought marriage was all about partnership
Jennifer: I've been wrong for almost 20 years

Jodi: yeah and give and take
Jodi: not you just GIVE GIVE GIVE
Jodi: and they just TAKE TAKE TAKE
Jodi: if you ask me that's a recipe for divorce
Jodi: and I am SORRY but a penis does not equal respect
Jodi: you have to EARN respect
Jodi: and it has to be mutual
Jodi: Kevin respects that I work really hard and he doesn't expect me to do these things
Jodi: and nor would he want me too
Jodi: he wouldn't wanna be married to a droid that just says yes dear
Jodi: where is the fun in that?
Jodi: This actually has me angry
Jodi: I hope NO WOMAN believes this shit
Jodi: that works and is her own person

Jennifer: I know
Jennifer: I read it and just sat stunned

Jodi: seriously I felt like I had been shot

Jennifer: I know
Jennifer: women have worked so hard to move ahead and women like that just hurt all of us

Jodi: I would hate for my daughter to do any of these things for her husband unless she just wanted too
Jodi: I sometimes do cook and serve Kevin
Jodi: because I WANT TOO
Jodi: not because he demands or expects it

Jennifer: right
Jennifer: I try so hard not to judge someone else's life, but I bet she wouldn't have one ounce of trouble judging mine

Jodi: nope she would think we were awful

Jennifer: I mean I'm sitting here trying to figure out how to get David the birthday cake he wants next week
Jennifer: but not in servitude
Jennifer: but because I love him

Jodi: exactly
Jodi: here is my biggest issue with these types of women
Jodi: they are one heart attack away from having nothing
Jodi: they can't support themselves

Jennifer: exactly

Jodi: they can't live on their own
Jodi: I will NOT have my daughter unable to care for herself
Jodi: my mom was raised to not be self sufficient
Jodi: and she was determined we would be

Jennifer: I know
Jennifer: my mom taught me to be able to take care of myself
Jennifer: and my husband
Jennifer: and should something ever happen to him then I've got it under control

Jodi: I want Miss Priss to know her future is of her making
Jodi: and she can do what any man can do
Jodi: and she doesn't need a man to have the things she wants in life

Jennifer: right
Jennifer: me too

Jodi: its nice to have a partner
Jodi: but its not necessary
Jodi: I love Kevin and I want him
Jodi: but I don't NEED Him financially
Jodi: and frankly, I wouldn't want to be with someone for the money
Jodi: because Jennifer MONEY can't make a marriage work

Jennifer: right, I don't love David because I need him, I need him because I love him

Jodi: it doesn't work
Jodi: money leaves
Jodi: looks leave
Jodi: kids grow up
Jodi: and then all you have is each other
Jodi: you have to have more of a foundation then CASH

Jennifer: my whole thought, is who is going to make her happy
Jennifer: who is going to put her first
Jennifer: what about her needs
Jennifer: maybe she doesn't have any

Jodi: she thinks by working and providing he is doing that
Jodi: but you know
Jodi: Bert has a saying
Jodi: "mad day is coming"
Jodi: one day that woman
Jodi: is gonna blow

Jennifer: i like that

Jodi: Look at the Real Housewives of CA

Jennifer: you did not just say that

Jodi: the only marriage that survived the economy
Jodi: THE ONLY ONE
Jodi: was where both worked and she has her own life and career
Jodi: all the ones where the husband provided
Jodi: the minute he couldn't
Jodi: bitch was GONE
Jodi: that's not real love

Jennifer: I have no problem with a woman being a stay at home mom and taking joy in that
Jennifer: but being a servant is not what I signed up for

Jodi: If she CHOOSES to stay home

Jennifer: right
Jennifer: HER choice

Jodi: I have friends that were married for 10 years
Jodi: and saved money
Jodi: and THEN they had kids and quit
Jodi: and that was their goal

Jennifer: right
Jennifer: I think that is fantastic

Jodi: but if we hit the lotto
Jodi: I wouldn't do the things that woman said

Jennifer: no way

Jodi: Kevin is PROUD OF ME
Jodi: he is PROUD of how hard I work
Jodi: he isn't ashamed that I don't stay in the kitchen
Jodi: and rub his feet when he gets home
Jodi: I couldn't be married to a person like that
Jodi: I wouldn't be
Jodi: I think women are really set back by people like this

Jennifer: I agree
Jennifer: I read an article about this the other day
Jennifer: about Sarah Palin and how she is hurting the women's movement in a subversive way

Jodi: I hate Sarah Palin
Jodi: I would never vote for her

Jennifer: well I can tell you right now, that chick loves her

Jodi: I don't think she is smart at all
Jodi: I am a republican when it comes to my taxes
Jodi: But I don't agree with people blindly
Jodi: because they stamp the republican name on themselves
Jodi: it offends me when people don't even look at the issues and just vote based on party
Jodi: I don't think she is hurting the woman's movement
Jodi: I just don't like her personally and I can't shake it

And then we got busy with our fulfilling jobs outside of the home...

As stated in the title, these are our opinions, which we are entitled too.

And just FYI, we are both Christians. Jodi was raised in the Catholic church and attended Catholic school her entire life. Jennifer is a somewhat Baptist with a full faith background.

Jodi and Jennifer on Kevin and David

Jennifer: If your spouse agreed to do ten things you asked what would they be?

Jodi: omg
Jodi: sheesh
Jodi: 1. lose weight and get healthy with me
Jodi: 2. stop collecting newspapers and other crap
Jodi: 3. Put your own dirty clothes in the hamper
Jodi: 4. Do the lawn without me bitching
Jodi: 5. Quit asking for sex first thing in the morning when you know i am on a schedule
Jodi: 6. Help me keep the house clean without me having to ask
Jodi: 7. when you are going to go to the store CALL ME and say "Honey do we need anything? "
Jodi: 8. Carry your cell phone at all times
Jodi: 9. Don't assume I just wanna sit home with the kids all weekend ask me what my plans are
Jodi: 10. Let me go places like to the Lake with the Williams without me having to resort to begging or getting the kids to beg

Jennifer: Did the fishing pole trick work?

Jodi: we didn't try yet
Jodi: but we will tonight

Jennifer: Let me see if I can come up with 10
Jennifer: 1. Throw your empty splenda packets in the garbage immediately.
Jennifer: 2. Don't discount my feelings just because it isn't something you care about. Even if it is something silly, like blogging.
Jennifer: 3. Pay more attention to the kids and less to the TV so I'm not the one constantly having to correct them.
Jennifer: 4. Fix the caulk in our bathroom.
Jennifer: 5. Quit complaining about the space limitations in the attic, garage and shed when 75% of the stuff being stored is yours.
Jennifer: 6. Put me first, or at least second (after the kids), just like I do you.
Jennifer: 7. Make sure the toilet flushed.
Jennifer: 8. Quit gagging when you brush your teeth.
Jennifer: 9. Put your socks (at least in the vicinity) of the laundry basket and not wherever you took them off.
Jennifer: 10. Always be the kind of dad you are right now.

Jodi: yeah I should have put one nice thing

Jennifer: i was having trouble thinking of another bad one off the top of my head
Jennifer: but after i typed it I did
Jennifer: 10. Quit asking for expensive birthday gifts that we can't afford because it makes me feel bad when I can't get it.
Jennifer: We could do the opposite and try to come up with 10 nice things. That would be harder.
Jennifer: 1. Always be the kind of dad you are right now.
Jennifer: 2. Always make me laugh.
Jennifer: 3. Continue to take care of the house without me having to worry about anything major.
Jennifer: 4. Keep changing my oil and rotating my tires so I don't have to think about it.
Jennifer: 5. Always kiss me good bye in the morning no matter how busy or crazy I am.
Jennifer: 6. Continue to help me out around the house.
Jennifer: 7. Keep sharing parenting duties like bath time and bed time.
Jennifer: 8. Pray for me and the kids every day.
Jennifer: See, now I'm having trouble with 9 and 10.
Jennifer: 9. Keep cooking.
Jennifer: 10. Always keep me centered so that I don't spin out of control.

Jodi: I can come up with 10 nice things

Jennifer: sure you can
Jennifer: go for it
Jennifer: (not meant sarcastically)

Jodi: 1. Always stare at me and tell me I am beautiful even if I whine about it
Jodi: 2. Always clean up the kitchen after dinner
Jodi: 3. always kiss me before bed and in the mornings
Jodi: 4. Always play with the kids every night and laugh with them
Jodi: 5. Always go to a job you have learned to hate just because it provides for your family
Jodi: 6. Always forgive me time and time again when I screw up
Jodi: 7. always trust me with the money and never question me because you have absolute faith in me
Jodi: 8. always brag about me to people and say that I can do ANYTHING I set my mind too
Jodi: 9. Always have your kids love you the best because you spend so much quality time with them
Jodi: 10. Always tell me you never knew what love was before me and the kids

Jennifer: see, we can come up with good stuff

Jodi: yeah if press

I think it is clear that we totally rock.

This post was inspired by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop.